.. wear cute skirts and funky t-shirts.
.. colour my hair in blazin’ blue streaks.
.. pierce something, not sure what yet.
.. crash a frat party and drain a keg.
.. wrestle Jake Gyllenhaal in a kiddie pool full of blue jello.
.. climb up the Empire State Building, King Kong style.
.. do something really fcuking crazy.
.. know why I’m thinking crazy thoughts.
Maybe I’m just nosey, but I’m a people watcher. I like sitting in Starbucks, or some coffee shop and watch people walk past, or watch people around me, observe their quirks and everythings. If you were ever put off by some girl who just kept staring at you for no damn reason, let me apologize now.. I don’t mean to be a creep. Sometimes I don’t realise I’m staring so hard that it freaks people out.
I can now indulge my people-watching at home, in my pyjamas, in front of my computer, eating chips and chocolate (although I shouldn’t!). I’ve started watching the different channels on Justin.tv , which is this site dedicated to Life casting. It’s cool because you can watch people go about their day, and even chat to them on their channels. My personal favourite is The Naked Cowboy, because I met him while I was in New York, and he’s a nice guy. I warn you though, you may disagree with some of the things he might say in the car, but if you keep an open mind, it’s just a little bit of entertainment. The other channel I’d recommend is iJustine the freelance designer/video editor. She’s one of the main attractions. Well, she is hot.. so ain’t that a wonder. She’s also the girl who got the 300 page phone bill from AT&T. Hehe.. and there I thought I was bad.
Some might argue with me that this is nothing new, you can watch people on ‘Big Brother’, let me make this clear now. I ABHOR ‘Big Brother’ and all associated losers and wannabe celebrities, and celebrity wash-outs that have participated in the most ridiculous reality tv exercise of the century. It’s LAME. These people get manipulated, the videos and shows are obviously edited, and honestly, being stuck in a house and/or being voted out for rejection can do things to a person’s mind.. I don’t wanna argue this anymore because it sucks. Laguna Beach and the Hills is fake, MTV’s Real World is so episodic.. DOUBLE LAME!
We’re talking about life casting, which is interesting in itself.. because iJustine and the Naked Cowboy live their lives out in front of the camera, in different places. You can hear their conversations, and watch as they get up and go about their daily lives. It’s a glimpse into a life that’s different from yours. You can call it mundane.. But I’m pretty sick of my day to day grind that has no change, I like to see a different picture every now and then.. and it inspires me to want to get out there myself.
Yeah, you could argue that you’re supposed to be living your life instead of watching other people live theirs.. I do. I’ve not become an addicted slob because of it. But I like watching Naked (Cowboy) work out, and I like watching iJustine as she gets famous and lives out a life that I want. This is the ultimate reality tv. No voting bullshit. Just plenty of normalcy, with some shits and giggles.
It is a brave step though.. It’s nothing you could do here. It’s such an intrusive thing to let your life be seen by thousands of people around the world. I switched blogs to this new one because I felt so violated that people I didn’t want were reading my thoughts and feelings about them. And this is pretty much a controlled space, you can choose what you want to write or not write here. But imagine a camera stuck on your head as you’re going out for drinks with friends, or a good old gossip with your girlfriends. I know there would be several people offended if I ever started life casting..
My other favourite site du jour, is I’m in like with you. It’s not open at the moment, you need an invite to get in.. (I happen to have 5, so if you’re nice to me in the comments, and leave your e-mail, I might just send you an invite!), but when you do get in, you’re on a dating website, except that you have to ‘bid’ points on games to talk to people. The games itself is really just a question posed on your profile page, bidders give witty or clever replies, and when the game ends, you can choose 1 winner out of the top 5 bidders. Yeah, so it means that your profile won’t get spammed by jackasses, you have some control over who can talk to you, and there’s a lot of creativity going on. You earn points by logging in daily, and answering little pop-up questions.
It’s kind of addictive admittedly.. as much as Facebook and it’s apps are.. And the website is cool and flashy, (quite literally because it’s Flash based), and I love reading people’s crazy and clever questions as much as the replies.. I’ve met some cool guys already.. One in Canada, another in Egypt, and one more in France.. It’s wicked. And I have three more sofas to sleep on when I travel around the world.. so it ain’t too shabby..
I hear a pinging and a ponging, so that must be my new friends..
I’m off.. I’ll catch you peeps later…
.. a decent short stack of blueberry pancakes.
.. belgian waffles.
.. jalapeno corn muffins.
.. southern style spicy cheesy biscuits.
.. a good ole spicy laksa.
.. salmon and cream cheese bagel
.. a meal better eaten lying down!
“If you want to take your mission in life to the next level, if you’re stuck and you don’t know how to rise, don’t look outside yourself. Look inside. Don’t let your fears keep you mired in the crowd. Abolish your fears and raise your commitment level to the point of no return, and I guarantee you that the Champion Within will burst forth to propel you toward victory.”
~ Bruce Jenner
‘Sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me.’ Is that how the childhood chant goes? The one that’s supposed to convince us that it doesn’t matter if someone calls you a ‘doody-head’ and makes you cry at the back of the classroom during recess.. because it’s just name-calling..
Flash forward to now.. We’re supposed to be older and wiser.. and some of us take pride in being called a ‘bitch’ because it means that we stand up for ourselves, but we secretly hurt because it still stings.. even when we’re supposed to be more self assured and confident.
Today was a day I wanted to curl myself up into a ball and hide in the darkest corner somewhere and not care about what someone close to me said. It hurt. It hurts twice as much because you respect and value that person so much that you would never think that they would say something like that. Actually, they’ve said worse. They’ve even said this horrible thing before.. but the scars have healed and the wound was forgotten, until today.
I pride myself on being a self-assured, confident, stand-up-for-myself and mine, ‘don’t take b.s’ kind of person.. It doesn’t mean that I’m not soft in the inside.. that I don’t have a heart.. or I’m not flesh and bone like everyone else..
So when I say something wounds me deeply, it does. It’s just that I can’t say anything to this person, because it would be disrespectful. I can only weep on the inside, where my tears flow free and the salt tries to heal the gaping wound inflicted by WORDS of all things.. A pen may be mightier than the sword.. But a sharp tongue can inflict savagery on a person that no sword or pen could come close to. Emotional pain. The kind that lingers long after the incident fades.. but lives on in bad memories and flashbacks.
Long after flesh heals, bruises disappear and scars fade.. the pain from words live on. It can drive a person to do pretty crazy things to themselves, break egos, shatter confidence.. I’ve known people who have become either buliemic or anorexic just because an offhand remark, “You need to lose some weight..” Others who are convinced of their mental ineptitude because a role model, a teacher had the audacity to say “Why can’t you get this? It’s so simple. You’re just stupid.” It may be just water under the bridge to others, but certain words hurt some more.. It’s because we’re already self-conscious about things, and to have it reiterated, re-infected in us in hurtful speech.. It can break someone.
I’m not going to let today’s incident break me. It’s going to smart a while though.. but I have so many bigger things to focus on.. It’ll just give me fuel to get me to where I want to go.. and just widen that ravine that makes me keep my distance.
But it still hurts.
I incurred the wrath of my parents the other day.. I saw a friend at the supermarket, and went over to say Hi.. We did cheek kiss thing..
It sounds so innocent, but the problem was that the other person was a guy. And my parents were there to witness it.
I forget I’m not longer in Europe, and it’s not appropriate here.
But I’d be a damn hypocrite if I said I didn’t do it before my parents saw me that day.
You take it for granted, this greeting when you see a friend, the cheek to cheek. Or even an enveloping hug when you see the extra special people.
So now I’ve been told that it’s wrong. And I have to tell my friends.
Why do I feel like it sucks wet wang? The next time I see my guy friends I have to hold them at arm’s length.. well, ain’t that great..
You know what stings the most? It’s that they said that it made me cheap. I don’t know why that made the tear roll down my face, but it did. It hurt.
Some 17 year old off to college kid managed to hack the iPhone.. Outrageous! Kinda makes me wonder what I’m doing with my life..
Anyhow.. if you’re brave.. have some technical knowhow, and have some cash wad to spare in case you turn your precious iPhone into a brick.. here is George Hotz’s Blog.
I was ambitiously thinking about buying an iPhone, and hotwiring it myself.. but after step 2, the directions got too complicated for me.. hehe.. and I’ve got better things to do with my time and money on than attempting to hot wire a brick.
Not that raiding my closet for my winter clothing will make it arrive any sooner..
Not that sending my coat to be dry cleaned make the days speed up..
Not that looking for my gloves and scarf will make the wait any less..
Not that thinking of someone every second of every minute of everyday will make the miles any smaller..
But it’s something to do.
Dearest Buffy,
You often think with your heart and not your head. Not that it’s a bad thing, it’s taken you places and on adventures that you could have never dreamed about if you had done otherwise.
You’re still living off the high of an adventure just taken. It should fuel your dreams and ambitions for a little while. But in that high, don’t forget that you still have a life and responsibilities. It’s easy to forget about the day to day things when you’re high as a kite up on cloud 9, without a string to keep you grounded.
I know you want to free yourself from those shackles, and your enthusiasm and ideas are admirable, so is the determination that you’ve shown, but in all the excitement, don’t forget to plan.. Because those who fail to plan, plan to fail.
Think about your goals, think of ways to make them happen. Make a plan, give yourself time to prepare, and then take your steps forward.
“Someone has defined genius as intensity of purpose: the ability to do, the patience to wait. Put these together and you have achievement.” ~ Leo J. Muir
Keep this quote in mind, every time you feel like rushing into things..
But don’t spend too much time thinking, that you forget to keep living..
With Love,
Buffy.
Out of boredom, I was taking one of those ‘Purity Tests’ on Facebook today.. I thought it would be fun, and it was quite so actually!
They ask a range of questions like ‘Made out in a car’ or ‘Kissed MSI in a horizontal position’, crap like that.. I was giggling to myself like crazy as I checked off the list, mentally imagining the moment that made each statement true. Yeah, I’ve done a lot of crazy things in my lifetime.. and I don’t regret a single one of them.. It was fun..
When the score came out, it was a brutal 15%.. enough to burn the eyebrows off my guardian angels.. Hmm.. Oh well, but I enjoy being bad.. *grins* It’s what made me who I am today, and I am certainly not a Vegas stripper, a porn star or a nymphomaniac.. Hmm.. Now I’m not too sure about that last one..
My friends know me well enough to accept my crazies and eccentricities, and love me for it (I hope). A couple have said that they live vicariously through me because they wouldn’t have the courage or the confidence to do some of the things I’ve done, and to be honest.. they are two of my closest confidantes, and they’re the ones that pick me up after an adventure gone wrong, dust me off, and send me out into the world again to live it up. I’m all too happy to tell them my wild tales, because I think that the world can handle only one of me. It’s a lot safer and happier for the rest of yous that way.
I’m not saying it’s okay to be bad. I draw the fine line at socially unacceptable things. But if you’re brave enough, and keep safe, maybe you should tick a few things off that list. After all, a life half lived is sometimes no life at all.
Go out live a little, love a lot, and have fun, because life is too short to be a wet blanket.
Peace out.
There’s an exclusive interview with James Marsters about Lex Luthor on Amazon.com
More details about the upcoming DVD and the trailer here!
DVD will be out September 18th! Mark your calendars!
Lately I’ve been in bed by 9pm, 11 tops. My head hits the pillow, and I’m out like a light. I am ever so grateful for it..
My body has just learned to sleep naturally again. Before I was on a constant string of sleeping pills, and even then, I would only get 4 or 5 hours a night, it was never enough..
I know it’s not much to be thankful for, but for someone who hasn’t been sleeping properly for months.. it is a big deal.. I used to toss and turn in my bed.. wishing, praying, anguishing over the smallest details, because my eyes refused to cooperate with my tired body. Crazy thoughts would be flying around in my head.. and the more I longed for sleep, the crazier they’d get.
It’s worse when you’re emotional and tired.. You just want to cry yourself to sleep.. but when you’ve cried your eyes out, and can’t sleep.. you just want to cry some more.. and where does that get you?
The only thing I miss is the dreams. I don’t dream as much or as vividly when I’m resting quite well.. Maybe that’s a good thing, not so many crazy thoughts.. I counter that though with some pretty nice thoughts and memories just as I’m drifting to sleep..
Like… making out in the back of a bar like a teenager.. The first flirt over some beers and baseball.. The first kiss.. The first ride.. Stuff like that… It keeps a girl warm and fuzzy on the inside when the company in those thoughts is far away and yonder.
Everyone just pause, and look. *sigh*
Lt. Col. John Sheppard comes in second of my list of Sci-Fi hotties.. The first of course, being Dr. Daniel Jackson (yummy Michael Shanks!), but since his series is now defunct, I only have Atlantis to keep me warm at night. And boy, does it ever!
Yes, I fancy Joe Flanigan, even if his little stint on ‘Dawson’s Creek’ did seriously creep me out. I didn’t think I was going to like Atlantis because of my love for SG-1, but I find the show seriously refreshing and entertaining. And the fact that Joe Flanigan and Paul McGillion are so easy on the eyes does help.. (Not to mention Beckett’s delicious Scottish accent, it’s enough to make a girl’s legs go weak..)
I’m just starting to watch Season 2 of Atlantis after finishing Season 9 of SG-1. I’m really, really trying to hold off viewing Season 10 for as long as possible. I’ve already read the episode summaries on GateWorld.net, so it’s not like I don’t know what’s going on.. (Yeah, it’s weird, I actually like plot spoilers before I watch something.. I think it’s cos I’m a Global thinker..) , but I can’t bear to watch it because I know it’s the end. And I have only more Atlantis to look forward to.. well, and waiting for the DVD movies to come out..
In the meanwhile, I’m really liking Atlantis, so much so, I did the geek thing and ordered a couple of the Atlantis Decals for my laptop.. so it looks all cool, just like the laptops in Atlantis… Yup, I think I’m ready for the Atlantis Expedition.. Daedalus, take me away!
Even more reasons to love Ryan Gosling…
He portrays a socially inept man who finds a very unconventional love on the Internet..*ahem, ahem.*
Oh yeah, definitely can’t wait to see this one.
.. when he rides his bike across town, even to see you just for half an hour.
.. because he likes it when you put his hand over his heart, he even places it there himself.
.. when he looks into your eyes when you’re being intimate, and his stare is so intense, you have to look away. And you’re usually the intense one!
.. when he doesn’t say goodbye, he says ‘See you again.’
.. when he doesn’t care that he has to impress a village to go out with you.
.. when he says that his family will love you, and he means it.
.. when he just wants to touch your skin, any part, any where, he just wants to be ’skin-to-skin’ with you.
.. if he will patiently wait for months just to see you again..
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