Hit the ground running?

March 19, 2007

Green is right.. I don’t wanna go jumping into things.. But it all her infinite wisdom, she also says, I don’t wanna regret something later on..

It’s weird as we’re grow up, (which we still are) and we find ourselves in situations and relationships that make us question, are we really adult enough to make this decision.. but here’s the irony.. these decisions often come, because yes, we’re adults..

The air in the household has made a quick switch.. My dad often wakes me up in the morning, asking weird questions about boyfriends and marriage.. Me, too sleepy to have anything to retort or reply, I just cover my head with a pillow and moan from beneath it. Only last month, I was still his baby, and he didn’t want to hear anything about me having potential boyfriends.. this month.. it’s a 180.. it’s so weeeiiirrrrrdddd.

I think part of the reason may be as my sister’s due date gets closer.. and my parents are realising that they’re more grandparents than parents.. Green’s theory is that maybe he’s trying a new approach to things.. not that I mind… Much.. It’s just I haven’t had time to adjust to this new transition..But sometimes, you never get any warnings.. you just gotta roll with it..

It’s like my sister, after she gives birth, she’s gonna be a mom, an amazing one at that.. she and her husband are gonna have a little person, to love and cherish, teach and nurture.. and try to shape into the best person that they can..  But sometimes, in the little moments, I can see, as she’s clutching her husband’s hand.. and they exchange the briefest of glances.. There’s questions in her eyes.. “How am I gonna do this.. am I ready? I’m still not sure..”

Though the circumstances are different for me.. I am now asking myself the same questions.. My sister is far along the racetrack.. and I’m barely starting out.. and there’s fear in my eyes.. I have never been in a long-term relationship, yet, here I am ready to jump into a race that’s probably being written even before I have left the starting line. But sometimes you gotta take chances.. is my life’s motto not, “May You Live In Interesting Times..”  I’ll run.. but how I progress, I don’t know.. but I’ll never now unless I try..

And I’ll give it the best shot I can..

Some will say, this is not what I deserve.. or they say, I’m settling.. But sometimes.. you know.. when you’re tired of doing the searching and finding, and maybe the answer that you really want is not the right one.. but the one you are being offered can be..

I’m not rushing into things, any decisions I make will be well thought out and possibly a little while away..

It’s wonderful to have a second chance at something, and this time I will try and put my heart into it.

Love is having someone who will wait for you to fall asleep before putting down the phone…


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