April 12, 2007

I haven’t been writing lately because of the reason above. It’s not that I don’t have anything to write about, I do..  but as soon as I log in and start writing, I lose momentum, and that feeling and thought that I’m trying to get across just loses itself.

I think part of the reason is because I now have a wall up when I write. It can no longer be the outpouring of emotion and feeling as it used to be. I have to think twice about what I say, and because I have to rethink it, it ends up a draft, and nothing more..

I hate that I now have to be careful, that my so-called anonymity is lost and to think that anything I write may have consequences.

I hate my blogging now. It has become more of a chore than an expression of myself.

But that doesn’t mean that I will stop.. I’m waiting for the dust to blow over, and I’ll open up once again.. ever cautious, but ever blooming.

I have this one thing to share with you all though..

Love is.. never giving up, though the world is against you. Love is.. believing, despite what you hear. Love is.. hanging on to hope, even when there is none. That is love.. and love so strong and true, will not change, will not falter.. will stand through the desert storm, the arctic chill, and sands of time. Love is.. patience..

That is love. And my love is unshakable.


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