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Unsettled :.

June 20, 2007

If birds flying south is a sign of changes
At least you can predict this every year.
Love, you never know the minute it ends suddenly
I can’t get it to speak
Maybe finding all the things it took to save us
I could fix the pain that bleeds inside of me
Look in your eyes to see something about me
I’m standing on the edge and I don’t know what else to give.

I think I’m happier when I’m busy and/or tired.. My brain doesn’t think as much, and I’m so focused on other things, that I don’t start cooking up nasty scenarios…

It’s been 2 weeks.. 2 long weeks since me and Zz have talked. *sigh* I’m beginning to wonder if I should throw a tantrum or something.. because it’s been too long…

I’m tired of playing the ‘understanding supportive girlfriend.’ I need some attention, dammit!

Yet, I don’t want to pile on anymore stress on Zz.. *sigh..*

Meanwhile.. my sub-conscious is playing mean tricks on my heart.. I’ve been dreaming about someone almost everyday this week.. Always the same dream formula.. That person is hurt/in trouble and I’m trying to save them, but I get stopped/blocked/lost in a maze.. What does it all mean? I don’t know.. But it makes me worry needlessly.. I wanna reach out and get in touch with that person.. but I’m uncertain that I’m welcome in their life..

I just want some peace.. real, inner peace.. Is that a lot to ask for?

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