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No Anonymity :.

November 23, 2007

Not that it just occurred to me, but two separate incidents in the last couple of days made me think about how I can’t just be just anyone walking down the street or collecting my mail at the post office.

A couple of days ago when I was collecting my parcel at the office, the lady customs officer who was examining my parcel took one long look at me, and asked directly, “Are you so and so’s granddaughter?” Though I was taken aback at how she could recognise me from my family tree no less, I answered yes. Then she proceeded to question me about my parents. Though slightly annoyed, all I could do was smile, and answer questions about my mother and my grandmother, wishing that she would hurry it up and I could leave and examine my goodies in the privacy of my car.

Today, I was at one of my favourite local Indian, waiting for my egg bread, when I thought I heard my father’s name being mentioned. Then I also heard my dad’s former workplace  said too. I groaned inwardly, as the table I was standing close by to was probably either a bunch of distant relatives or my dad’s friends. Just when I thought they could say all they could, the man who had been talking mentioned that I was probably the unmarried one. I was so grateful that my food was ready and I could flee quickly, and walked off as fast as I could in my baju kurung.

My parents are good people, and lots of people know them, this I don’t mind. But it kinda puts me off when the conversation starts involving me. Here, as I’ve said before, you’re never your own person, you’re always somebody’s daughter, granddaughter, etc. I miss London where I was so anonymous, I could walk down  the street in my jammies and fuzzy slippers (Edgware Road, late one summer’s night, I was desperate and hungry and didn’t give a damn) and no one gave a fcuk or knew who I was. Hell, I once ran around the London Eye on New Years in a teeny tiny skirt, a big old parka, and heels.. randomly hugging people and wishing them “Happy New Year..” and the next morning (late afternoon, really) I didn’t have to worry about my conduct or clothing making the rounds on the BGN (Bruneian Gossip Network).

I guess really you could blame the fact that there’s nothing to do here except eat and gossip, and not necessarily in that order. *sigh*

I can’t wait to move to a faraway land where being someone’s daughter doesn’t matter.

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3 comments

  1. I think this is as close as it gets.

    (Please just tell me if you want me to shut up)


  2. I can sense a lot of anger in you. Blame it on youth. These troubles will pass. Be patient, BB.


  3. @Powers, this is pretty much as anonymous as it gets.. But I am grateful for it, for I wouldn’t have an outlet otherwise.

    @Jasmine, thanks. The truth is, you are most right. I know this will pass, it’s just frustrating in the meantime.

    I appreciate the fact that both of you took the time out to say something. Thanks. 🙂



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