It’s just a crush… :.

December 6, 2007

… so why am I squee-ing with glee from seeing his name in my inbox?

Last week, while conducting a course out of office, I met a really good bunch of interesting people. The good part was they were my age, and I made a lot of new friends. The best part, I met someone who gives me butterflies when he smiles at me.

Initially, I thought he was just the joker, the clown of the group. The comic who didn’t take anything seriously. But after he smiled at me for the 10th time, and gave me a compliment which he meant from his eyes, I felt so smitten.

I felt like a teenager in high school again, internally sighing when he said my name, quivering with excitement if he paid attention to me, and trying not to blush when he winked at me from across the room during a lecture.

Yes, I confess to taking pictures of his butt, because it was just as delightful as the rest of him.

I found excuses to wander over to his table, to hang around, and stay close, but also had to keep myself at a distance, because I was there with him in a professional capacity. But that didn’t stop me from wanting something so much more from our interaction.

There was no denying our flirtation, I think everyone else knew. But I guess, maybe the attraction wasn’t strong enough to warrant something more forward. Or perhaps there was that heavy blanket of professionalism that hung over our heads.  We parted as friends, and with a sad smile on my face, because I wondered if I ever would see him or hear from him again.

My heart flutters when I read the friendly e-mail, sent in the late hours of the afternoon, that read with as much personality and friendliness as if he were addressing me in person. With each smiley, I can imagine that cute, friendly face, with the mischievous smile that makes me want to melt like chocolate on a hot sidewalk. And I think I can hear his voice in my head.

It’s just a crush… I hope.


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